Let me introduce myself:
I'm Anna Renfro.
I am wife to Josh Renfro.
I am daughter of Bill and Maria Dunlap.
I am a Texan by address, a South Carolinian at heart.
I have grown up Christian.
People know me to be creative, hard-working, open, and caring.
They also know me as forgetful, anxious, and highly emotional.
My abilities are important to few, unknown to many.
My passions are words, art, music, and deep relationships.
My occupations are as follows:
Wife.
Daughter.
Sister.
Friend.
Teacher.
Learner.
Housekeeper.
Hostess.
Artist.
Writer.
Caretaker.
Christian.
Yes, I do wear all of these hats, but do you know what my number one job often is?
If left to myself, my number one profession is making you, and (more importantly) myself, think that I can wear all of these hats well.
After all, didn't God say, do all to the His glory? Doesn't he expect the best? Should I then, in turn expect any less of myself? He says that He's given me EVERYTHING pertaining to life and godliness. It shouldn't be that hard.
And I can honestly say, no. This task of wearing all hats well isn't hard. It's impossible.
First of all, walking a straight path with more than one item on your head is a balancing act.
You're either going to drop one or fall over trying to keep it on its perch.
Second of all, how many hats can you picture that look good together? Almost none! They are meant to be a stand alone accessory. Put them together and hats just clash. Drastically.
The biggest problem with this many-hat philosophy is that I have to earn each hat. I have to play the part to win the title. And between my humanity, sinfulness, and the accusations of the enemy, I am am in a constant pattern of losing hats and gaining them back again.
You may be thinking, isn't this process frustrating? Doesn't it feel futile?
Do you ever want to give up?
Here's my answer. Oh YES. It's frustrating, it futile, it's absolutely exhausting, but I. Can't. Stop.
You know why?
Because every time I hand over a hat, I am so covered in shame, and shaken in my understanding of WHO I AM. On days when I lose all my hats because I just can't "get it together," I feel utterly naked, utterly lost.
You see, I was born knowing that my hats are my identity. They help me know who I am and where I belong.
They help me feel secure. They help me feel important. They help me feel valued.
In Matthew 4, the Holy Spirit takes Jesus by the hand, and leads Him into the wilderness to be tested. The devil meets Him there.
Satan, sizes Jesus up, knowing His opponent is God. But, He that He is also God incarnate. Knowing human weakness like the back of his hand, the Devil used the best attack in his playbook.
“If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”
“If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, ‘He will command his angels concerning you,’ and ‘On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’” - Matthew 4:4-5
IF YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD.
If Satan's best shot at Jesus Christ--Prince of Peace, Lord of Lords, Very God of Very God--is to make Him question His identity as the Son of God, why on earth do we think The Accuser will not use this tactic on us?
Those days in the wilderness are the worst for us, and the perfect hunting season for the Devil. In the dry season, I have to drop my hats because they make me hot, and sweaty and yet I long for their shade...the confusion begins. I begin to fret saying,
I'm too tired for intimacy, so I'm not a good wife. Maybe if I remembered to return her call, I'd be a good friend. My house is dirty; some no-good, lazy homemaker I am. I wasn't prepared for my lessons today, how can I expect the kids to learn from a teacher like me?
Four hats gone.
When was the last time, I had a date with God...if I was really a Christian I would want Him more.....
And that is when I am really shaken. Other titles can be wiped from my resume, I will be left scraped and bruised with wounded pride. The final blow is that horrible phrase, "If I was really a follower of Christ..." It's like I can see Satan, standing there holding out his hand accusingly, waiting for me to hand it over....my identity as a child of God.
I have done it before. I have handed over that hat and I have never felt more purposeless and terrified in all my life. Despair plagued me every moment and doubt was my constant companion.
But God.
Thank goodness for God.
See God is so much smarter than we think...He knew that the fight for identity would be man's greatest battle. He begins to help us protect it in the very beginning.
Why else would he proclaim, "You were created in my image, male and female."
"You are my people, and I am your God."
"I have called you by name. You are mine."
"I am the shepherd. You are my the sheep."
"You are my beloved children."
"You are chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, people who belong to God."
It is not a mistake that humans are so concerned with identity. We were made this way. Made to revel in being created in the image of an all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-lovely God.
But we were only given one head, on which to wear this one hat.
God's ways are practical and simple. He is a single-minded God.
It was only when sin entered the world that men began to make their own hats--hats of the world easily manipulated by the god of this world. Unfortunately, these hats can never be worn well enough, long enough, high enough, straight enough...they are never enough.
But the Creator of human identity has made a way for us. He calls it the Helmet of Salvation. He specifically selected it to be worn by his children.
You see a helmet is not about looking good on the surface, in fact it completely hides the wearer's face. This removes the pressure of keeping up appearances. It allows me to see look out at others without worrying about what others think of me. It's primary purpose is to protect what's inside and arm the wearer against outside forces. He created this hat that is easy to put on, difficult to remove, and always enough.
The helmet tells me that I am a soldier in God's army, bought with a price. It tells me who's side I'm on and who will direct my fate. It tells me I have a purpose. It tells me where I belong even when I drop the ball on dinner, become frustrated with my sister, or over-sleep.
When I wear the Helmet of Salvation, I am enough because I am loved and protected. My mind, surrounded by truth, understands that I don't need those other hats to live well or feel worthy. Christ was already enough for me and He will continue to be enough until I die, when I trade my helmet for a crown.
A helmet looks confining, but it is so freeing. No longer do I have to live a balancing act or barter with the devil. He cannot take the Salvation God has given me. He cannot take my identity. He may shake it, rattle it, remove it for a moment, but He cannot keep it from me.
Yes, we were made to be hat-wearers. Yes, we have to PUT ON the Helmet of Salvation EVERY DAY, until we don those crowns, but it is worth it. Do as Jesus did, and wear the truth around your head and you will find freedom.
So let's try this again.
Hi. I'm Anna Renfro.
I am a chosen Daughter of the King.
I am unconditionally loved.
As a Daughter of the King my job is to share that love though serving, by His grace.
If I fill this role, my roles on earth will be filled as well.
I am also a human.
As such I am tempted, and I fall. A lot.
But I am forgiven.
I am strengthened.
I am not who I once was.
I am not perfect.
But I am being perfected.
And I am permanently redeemed.
My abilities are used in God's perfect plans.
So are my failures.
In Christ, I am enough.
This one hat is enough for me.
